This is something I wrote during a 10 minute writing exercise in my class this morning…..
Right now I am sitting in class staring at my green marker and green nails. I feel lucky at the moment. Yesterday I spent a frustrating morning completing mundane tasks, searching for 800 missing fundraiser fliers, and putting together leprechaun outfits for the twins for our mystery date. I tried to escape for a moment and jumped on my laptop while the twins counted down the minutes till they could use their pots of gold. I got right online and peaked at the news. The news that seems to be getting worse by the moment. And suddenly, all of the despair gave me a moment of happiness.
How lucky am I to say my hardest task of the day is getting my 11 1/2 year old not to wear a green striped polo shirt with plaid, Hawaiian shorts on his field trip to the symphony? How lucky am I not to be a mom in Sendai searching for her children or other loved ones through rubble that seems to go on forever or a mom trying to keep her family alive and healthy closer to the nuclear disaster? I keep telling myself how lucky I am but as I do that I feel like I need to be doing more.
Is there more for me to do at the moment other than be a shuttle service to and from soccer and baseball? A mom at the twins school told me I was brave to take a writing class when I had two little preschoolers. She used the word brave but I thought she really meant stupid. Is it ok to pursue my interests while I have young children? Isn’t it only fair to all of us that mommy follows her dreams?
But Mommy also needs to look for meaning; meaning beyond all the green the Farleys left the house wearing this morning. Raising happy, smart, healthy children sometimes doesn’t seem like enough when so many are struggling to survive.