Ohhhh St. Patrick’s Day

This is something I wrote during a 10 minute writing exercise in my class this morning…..

Right now I am sitting in class staring at my green marker and green nails.  I feel lucky at the moment.  Yesterday I spent a frustrating morning completing mundane tasks, searching for 800 missing fundraiser fliers, and putting together leprechaun outfits for the twins for our mystery date.  I tried to escape for a moment and jumped on my laptop while the twins counted down the minutes till they could use their pots of gold.  I got right online and peaked at the news.  The news that seems to be getting worse by the moment.  And suddenly, all of the despair gave me a moment of happiness.

How lucky am I to say my hardest task of the day is getting my 11 1/2 year old not to wear a green striped polo shirt with plaid, Hawaiian shorts on his field trip to the symphony?  How lucky am I not to be a mom in Sendai searching for her children or other loved ones through rubble that seems to go on forever or a mom trying to keep her family alive and healthy closer to the nuclear disaster?  I keep telling myself how lucky I am but as I do that I feel like I need to be doing more.

Is there more for me to do at the moment other than be a shuttle service to and from soccer and baseball?  A mom at the twins school told me I was brave to take a writing class when I had two little preschoolers.  She used the word brave but I thought she really meant stupid.  Is it ok to pursue my interests while I have young children?  Isn’t it only fair to all of us that mommy follows her dreams?

But Mommy also needs to look for meaning; meaning beyond all the green the Farleys left the house wearing this morning.  Raising happy, smart, healthy children sometimes doesn’t seem like enough when so many are struggling to survive.

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