A birthday post a day late…
I remember planning and waiting. I remember reading Goodnight Moon every night to him while he was in my tummy. I remember having ideas or ideals that are shared by many first time parents and quickly giving them up when Alex arrived in the world. I remember wishing he would sleep but still staring at his lashes when he closed his eyes. I remember writing down every word he said and telling him long, long stories. I remember traveling all over New England – just the two of us. I remember feeding his obsessions and even buying tickets to The Wiggles concert 150 miles away. I remember crying and feeling lost on his first day of school. It was all a labor of love.
I remember it all like it was yesterday. And now I have wishes and I know so much more. I know it was truly easier when they were babies and toddlers. I know the dangers get bigger as they do. I know that I aggravate him and I need to be thankful for all the time he wants to spend with me. I know that he won’t break if he falls down the stairs – the wall might. I know that he’s growing up and I can’t even stop it. It’s still a labor of love.
I wish I knew how it would all turn out. I wish that I could keep him under my wing. I wish the 7th grade year would be easy – but I’ve heard that it’s not. I wish I could take every hardship away. But what I wish for more than anything is that he finds happiness…easily.