I sent one of my old friends a message tonight. I saw a picture of his boys in an airport and it was the sweetest image. (at least I think it was an airport…Facebook has the ability to make you believe lots of things) I looked at the image and couldn’t believe that either of us was old enough to have children that age. Of course Alex is older than both of his boys so my child is much older than his but sometimes you don’t recognize things you see in the mirror…it’s more apparent when you look at someone else. Shit..(crap sorry!) it was just yesterday that he and I were placed in this special class because they didn’t know what to do with the ‘smart’ kids. I’ll never forget waiting for our ‘special’ teacher to arrive and some how my friend blew up a computer. Sparks everywhere and scared little smart kids. And now we are parents. Parents with this long history that we are supposed to hide from our kids but use to help ‘educate’ them. I can only imagine the firestorm if Alex blew up a computer at his school.
But that’s not what this post is about. It’s about facing the fact that I am about to turn forty along with my high school and college comrades. 40…we remember Sally in When Harry Met Sally lamenting turning 40 and it is impossible to imagine that we are there. We are there whether we want to be or not. 2012 is a big year. We are parents and role models and it is hard to fathom how we got here. I said earlier tonight that 2012 was going to be a year of less thinking for me. Less thinking about what other people think, why they say what they say or do what they do. But it will most definitely involve more thinking about myself and how I got where I am. I want to revisit the past but surely not live in it and look to the future but not wish away any of my present.
And with that I tell you that these are exciting days in my present…having four children anxiously awaiting their biggest night of the year. And I cannot wait to experience it all with them but as I watch I will wonder how on earth I ended up where I am and will think back on my Christmases of past with a smile and a wink.