Quite a few people have asked me what I have been up to lately. And honestly, I feel like I am being followed by Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey style drama 24-7. My shoulders are a bit tense and I am finding it difficult to relax even at 4 a.m. I guess that’s what happens when you have a teenager.
But the drama’s not the point of this post…believe it or not. I am having a hard time figuring out what I should and should not write about on my blog. I only tell the tales of my own children and never involve other kids in my writing. I only enjoy telling stories that they want me to tell. My teenager loves when I share his stories and frequently asks with a smile if I’ll blog about it. I don’t write about work even though I think some of you would like to hear about all the cute things we do in our classroom. I don’t slander people. And sometimes it takes every ounce of control I can muster up. (Real grown up isn’t that?) I don’t share other people’s secrets or annoying habits. I try to keep my blogs me-centered.
Lately, I have been censoring myself and I hate it. I’m left wondering if this is why writers turn to fiction. With fiction one can alter the details so the truth hides behind a gauzy veil. Stories and people are muddled together to cover identities and events.
Problem is, I like non fiction as much as fiction. I am writing a memoir. My dad has a feature role but because he isn’t living I am able to write freely. I can write with an honesty that maybe I didn’t live with. The past and my childhood seem like fair game. I guess it’s my present day activities that give me more pause.
I have 25 blog posts sitting in my drafts file about things that I believe in that I think you would enjoy. Drafts about topics that range from gifted education to bullying. Drafts that have a piece of my heart in all of them.
I sat at a red light today and thought to myself, “I’ll put it in my book instead of my blog.” And now I wonder what the difference really is? Both will be viewed by the public. One with more immediacy than the other.
Writing gives me power. I stand down in conflict. I don’t lead revolutions. I am not an eloquent speaker. But I can put my thoughts together on paper or a keyboard. I can stand up for what is right and defend myself or ideas in a way that I can’t in person. I think, well actually I know, I find even more power when I share a story. You, my faithful readers, reach out and thank me for sharing and you share a little bit of your soul.
So forgive me if I am a bit cagey about what I have been up to lately. I’ll find the right balance somehow and I’m sure I’ll make mistakes along the way and ruffle some more feathers. Until then maybe I’ll focus on stories from my younger years as I am sure there are no feathers to ruffle with those stories…..