It’s time for me to confess. (Are you hooked? Do you think I’m going to tell you who Victoria really is? That’s a joke…she’s fake. She only lives in my mind not out in the real live 2-3-1-1-3!)
I am shy. Yes, I may appear talkative and outgoing but it pains me to be that way. I am naturally, 100% shy. Social situations scare me. Talking to groups of adults is the hardest thing ever! I love one-on-one heart to hearts though. Maybe that’s why I love social media so much – I can hide behind my screen. Hey, maybe that’s why I like to write – I can hide behind my books. They can speak for me.
I’m thinking about this at 10:20 pm after writing, working, explaining exponents to my 9 year old, going to back-to-school night and choking on the Axe one mischievous twin sprayed all over because I introduced myself to a parent of a child I’ve had for the last two years tonight. I’m sure he thinks I’m cray-cray and was thinking, “Lady, I’ve met you at least a dozen times.” But here’s the problem…because I am shy I assume people don’t remember me. Doesn’t make a ton of sense, I know. I should say because I lack the confidence that I’ve made an impression, I assume people don’t remember me. It’s pretty absurd but I simply figure they don’t recognize me or remember me for some inane reason like my ever changing hairstyle or something.
So because I am shy and because I assume you don’t remember me, I usually smile meekly and don’t always start up a conversation. When someone calls me by name, therefore signaling they remember me, I gab away. I’m always afraid I’m mistaken for a snooty mom who doesn’t have time to say hi but I assure you I am not. I remember meeting you. I remember the exact day and probably the time we met. If I try really hard, I can most likely remember what you were wearing.
See, deep down inside I’m a sit in the back of the room and take it all in kind of girl. I find it ironic that I’m putting myself out there centerstage right now but maybe, just maybe, this 41 year old shy girl is turning a new page.
If you have a minute, go check out this post I had an opportunity to contribute to on Valley’s site.