Peter and Heather do Halloween

Because their relationship moved so quickly, Heather still had many new things to learn about Peter. Somehow he managed to keep his penchant for Halloween bottled up until they were together for slightly less than a year. Had she realized what a maniac he was about the holiday at another point in their relationship, things may have been different. It all started around Labor Day when the first signs of Halloween stores popped up in empty storefronts. Peter took a cursory visit to each store to inspect the new merchandise. The first time Heather and the kids went with him Gracie and Henry ended up leaving in tears. Heather was certain she wouldn’t be able to shake the image of her hot Peter and his tattooed arms in a clown mask with his tongue sticking out. But she felt thankful he wasn’t brandishing some kind of weapon.
Now, several years after they first met, Heather was prepared for the barrage of boxes filled with the latest in creepy gore to start arriving from random websites based in seemingly far away places. Peter looked a little miffed as he carried the latest box with the Amazon return address label into the kitchen.
“This one’s light. I can’t remember what I ordered.”
“Webs for all of the spiders around the pool house?” surmised Heather.
“Very funny.” Peter opened the box gently with his trusty Swiss Army knife. “It’s a freaking box of Doritos. What the heck?”
“Oh those are mine.”
“You ordered snack bags of Doritos from Amazon?”
“Yes, forty-eight snack bags to be exact.” Peter looked at her like she had three heads.
“I’m sure this makes sense somehow.”
“It does. I’m making dinner for the Hayes’ team and I’m making walking tacos.”
Peter wrinkled his nose, lifted his eyebrows and shook his head. Heather sensed the need to change the subject to the only topic consuming his mind at the moment…what they were going to be for Halloween.
“Well, I have some ideas. You could be a bag of cookies and I could be a glass of milk. You could dip your cookies into my milk anytime you want.”
“Really, Peter? That’s gross!” said Heather with a sigh realizing she’d changed the topic but at the same time aggravated herself.
“Okay. You can be a sexy Cookie Monster and I’ll be a cookie. You can take a bit of me.”
“You’re not going to like the bite I take of you if you’re not careful.”
“How about I’ll be an Almond Joy bar and you can be a Mounds since I have nuts and you don’t.”
Heather rolled her eyes. “I want to wear something so no one can tell who we are. Let’s be mysterious.”
“It’s a Halloween party in your old neighborhood, right? With all the people we know pretty well? It’s going to be hard for them not to know who we are.”
“Yes, it’s at Tanya’s house. But think about how fun it will be for people not to know who we are.”
Peter thought for a second. “You’re right. I’ll come up with something. I ordered the kids’ costumes. They’re going as KISS.”
“Did you clear that with any of them?” asked Heather knowing full well he hadn’t but also aware of his sometimes annoying ability to sweet talk all of them into doing what he wanted. She was sure he’d sugar coat the deal with something that appealed to each of them.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got it under control.” And she knew there was no reason to worry.
***
‘Twas the night before Halloween and Peter’s decorations had taken the house hostage. Spider webs hung from every corner. Skeletons sat in awkward positions in empty chairs. Witches cackled from the stairwell and children screamed each time they were surprised by an unexpected adornment.
“So, I’m wearing a skin tight Mummy costume that looks like a second skin?”
“Yeah. We’re matching!”
“Matching mummies? How do you get that thing off to go to the bathroom? Can I breath in it?”
“You take it off the same way you put it on and there are eyeholes and holes at your nose and mouth too.”
“Not exactly what I would have chosen. You should have told me a little bit earlier that my costume was going to be skin tight so I could have done a juice cleanse to shed my muffin top!” Heather loaded the last few after-dinner dishes into the dishwasher.
“I’m not going to argue about your invisible muffin top but think of it this way…you won’t have to do your hair or your make-up because you’ll be completely covered up,” said Peter with a gigantic smile like he’d just scored the game winning touchdown. “What’s our plan for tomorrow night anyway?”
“I’ll take the kids trick-or-treating and you can stay here and hand out candy, Mr. Halloween. Then we’ll get them home and de-costumed and we will head out to the party.”
“Are you going to wear your costume trick-or-treating?” asked Peter innocently.
“No way! I’m not taking five kids out to a bunch of houses dressed in a skin tight mummy costume.” Heather finished wiping the counters in the kitchen, balling up the towel and tossing it aside before turning off the lights. “Better get a good night’s sleep before the big day.”
***
“Peter! Can you help me get the twins out of the car? George stole Emily’s princess wand and I think he might need a straight jacket to contain him after all the sugar he’s eaten.”
Peter ran outside in his mummy costume. Heather could see every inch of him. Every inch of his well-toned body was framed in the skintight fabric that wrapped around him. She could see his hamstrings move from his knee to his gluteus maximus. I will never put on a costume that mimics every part of my body, thought Heather.
“Feels like they have at least three pounds of candy each!” yelled Peter.
“And they’ve already eaten some. By the way, nice outfit,” said Heather.
“I’m not so sure some of the moms that came by appreciated it. A couple of kids wouldn’t even take any candy.”
“Maybe it was the bat hanging from the doorway or the blood dripping out of the vampire’s mouth. It might not have been you,” remarked Heather.
Peter carried George under his arm and the bag of candy in his other hand. George swiped at the bag several times unsuccessfully. On his final attempt to get his bag of treats, George grabbed a piece of the mummy costume and exposed Peter’s bare thigh.
“George!” yelled Peter putting him down on the ground and trying to see if his costume could be repaired. The rip looked substantial and unfixable to Heather.
“Guess we can’t be mummies,” said Heather not hiding her disappointment very well. Peter pulled the mask off of his head and ran his hand through his hair.
“Okay, let me think for a minute.” Heather continued inside with the twins and the other three kids. “I’ll run out to the store and get us something. It won’t take me long. I’ll get whatever they have.” Peter took off inside grabbing his keys and his wallet and ran back to the car.
“Umm…Peter. You’re half a mummy,” said Henry.
“It’s okay, bud. Anything goes on Halloween.”
Henry and Heather exchanged looks and rolled their eyes.
“Costumes off everyone. I’m going to get the twins changed and put them to bed. Why don’t you guys sort your candy or rent a movie?” Heather didn’t wait for an answer but picked up her phone instead.
7:30 Jenny: Can I go to the party with you guys? I don’t want to go alone.
7:40 Heather: Sure. Long story but Peter is out buying us costumes.
7:41 Jenny: Just pull something together. Tease your hair, grab some jewelry and go 80s like me.
7:42 Heather: Yeah. Pretty silly to spend more money on it.
7:43 Jenny: I’ll come over and help you.

Heather texted Peter and told him not to buy her anything.
7:45 Peter: I’m here. Why don’t I just meet you at the party? You and Jenny go ahead.
7:46 Heather: Are you sure?”
7:47 Peter: Positive

Heather put her self in high gear and put the twins to bed before getting herself ready. She put her hair up in a side pony and teased the heck out of it, found her biggest earrings and put them on. She walked into her closet and took her sweatshirt that always fell of her shoulder and paired that with a pair of black leggings. It would have to do.
Ten minutes later, Jenny was there and she said goodbye to the big kids.
“You look great,” said Jenny.
“So do you! I should have planned on this from the beginning. I was secretly smiling when Peter ripped his crazy costume.”
“Next year don’t give him free reign with the costumes.”
“Trust me, I won’t.”
Tiny jack o’lanterns lit the walkway and ghosts hung from the trees. Tanya’s house exuded as much Halloween spirit as Heather and Peter’s. Jenny opened the door and let them into the sea of masked neighbors. Heather took a deep breath and made her way through the crowd.
“Hi Girls! Oh, 80s that’s so original and you did it together. How cute!” snarked Tanya.
“And what are you? A cow milker?” asked Jenny.
“An authentic German milkmaid. All this embroidery was done by hand by my second cousin twice removed,” said Tanya.
“Heather!” Sweet Laura walking up and greeting them with hugs saved them from any more details. “Sweeties, you look great! Love the retro costumes.”
“Point me toward a drink, please!” demanded Jenny. Laura took them to the bar that was stocked with more jell-o shots than a frat house. They each found a beer buried behind everything and toasted to a successful day of trick-or-treating.
“Would you hold my drink? In all of my haste to get here, I forgot to go to the bathroom,” said Heather handing her drink to Jenny.
The half bathroom was occupied so Heather made her way to the one she knew was in Tanya’s guest room. She checked her phone to see if there was any word from Peter yet. The party was lonely without him. He’d sent her a text ten minutes ago saying he was on his way. Good, he should be here any second, she thought.
She opened the bathroom door to find a caped crusader standing waiting for her. A black Batman mask covered his face and a costume almost as tight as the mummy outfit outlined his body. Only this time the costume seemed to have some fake muscles built into it. Batman took a step toward Heather and put his arm around her waist bending down to meet her lips with a kiss. It felt funny to kiss Peter through the mask…almost like she was kissing someone completely different. She couldn’t feel his strong lips or his scruffy beard. Heather pulled herself away just as Peter as Zorro came around the corner brandishing his sword.
“Oh my gosh! Who are you and why are you kissing me?!?” yelled Heather.
The masked man whispered into Heather’s ear. “You kissed me right back, my dear.” And with that, he turned and left the guest room leaving a dejected Zorro looking for an explanation from a red-faced Heather.

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