The question floating around the bus stop and work this morning was, “How was your Mother’s Day?” For me, I got the double whammy with, “How was your birthday?” I noticed as we asked each other there was a pause, like we weren’t quite sure what to say. Our minds rushing back to the day filled with all of events and trying to remember if the scale tipped in favor of a good and relaxing day or something else. Maybe somewhere in the world there are moms who slip away from reality on Mother’s Day and are pampered with spa treatments, gorgeous meals, and a carte-blanche shopping trip. Maybe that’s what we’re all picturing in our minds when we’re asked about our day. But for most of us Mother’s Day and birthdays are just another day with special words, surprises, a few less chores, and an extra-large dose of regular life. And that’s where the pause, and the beauty come in.
I was showered with thought-filled gifts and sibling squabbles, delicious meals at my favorite places and a throwing up eight-year-old, relaxing moments on the deck spent reading and frantic moments searching for Benadryl and an oatmeal bath for a diva with poison ivy. It was life, my real life, and I treasured every moment. When I went to bed last night, I thanked Justin for a perfect day but perfect seemed like the wrong word when I thought back to the moment Grandma’s puppy ran through the baseball net in the backyard. But honestly, it was my kind of perfect.
I’ve tossed out any expectations for an occasion and instead I’ve decided to relish in each moment. I giggle when Ethan can’t stop talking about smushed balls. I melt when Alex puts his arm around me while we’re walking to the car. I like paper plates and eating out of containers as much as I love my wedding china(maybe even more) if I’m sitting with those I love. I like an unplanned afternoon margarita as long as the conversation can be heard over the battle of the twins. And I don’t need anything special to make a day feel incredibly special.
When we remove the expectations and idealizations, we can see the raw, not touched-up, genuine moments that touch our hearts and imprint in our minds. And when we think about those, doesn’t that make every day Mother’s Day?