Moments to forget

I try to create moments that can be easily forgotten. I remember the moment my parents told us they were getting a divorce. I was sitting on the fold out bed in the den watching The Brady Bunch. I cut my finger with the scissors and walked downstairs to get the news from my parents sitting calmly at the kitchen table. I remember sitting at my godmother’s kitchen table when my mom called to tell her my grandfather had died. My godmother kept the secret and curled my hair with real hot curlers. I remember driving to my sewing class, … Read more…

Ahhh…Summertime?

Summer is the time that I look forward to all year long. I long to get back to my happy place, the pool. I want the lazy days of summer without schedules, homework or packing lunches. I love the freedom of not setting an alarm clock. I love the teeny, tiny moments of ordinary and spontaneous laughter that pop up during the day. I like the random gatherings of neighbors and friends on weeknights. But I’ve decided that summer may be a bit like childbirth – you forget the pain and only remember the outcome. I remember having a great … Read more…

When I was 18

When I was 18 we watched Bring on the Night and Better Off Dead and ate nachos. We got caught for hanging out at the fire hydrant for a little too long and accidentally leaving notes that incriminated us. When I was 18 we had busy signals and *69 to see who had just called. Our phones connected to the wall and we carried quarters for emergencies. We were silly and stupid and pretty immature. We wrote notes and ate circus peanuts and life was ok. We had long talks on the swings at the playground and kissed behind trees. … Read more…

My head is swirly

It’s the time of year, the busy, crazy time of year. The time of year that has my calendar filled with three events at the exact same time on one day. The time of year that has me running to the store after all the kids get off the bus to get the last minute supplies for the all important “Drop an egg off the roof of middle school” activity. The time of year that is filled with endings and new beginnings. The end of middle school and the beginning of high school. My oldest, my first born who taught … Read more…

Afraid

I am now, at age 40, afraid of the dark. I sleep with a rainbow nightlight that I won at a White Elephant Bunco Party. It stays on each night in our hallway and I keep our bedroom doors open. Justin sleeps with an extra pillow to put over his head because the constant change of the colors is too much for him to bear. Blue is my favorite. Red surprises me sometimes and makes me believe there’s a fire. I can see down part of the front staircase and into the foyer. Well, see is a bit of an … Read more…

UGH!

Things are swirling in my head. I need to get them out in some form so I can move on from them. So bear with me and my ramblings… I’ve been feeling disgruntled. Disgruntled at things I see happening in this world, in the big world and my little world. This world of sports that my impressionable 13 year old loves so much had a terrible week. From Lance, to the crazy Manti T’eo story, to the losers(my son’s favorite team) who didn’t act like gracious losers and the winners who may not be very good people or idols for … Read more…

I am ridiculous

****This is a confessional piece that I wrote in my writing class this evening.**** I am in love with Adam Levine. I am so in love with him that my almost 9 year old has changed the wallpaper on my phone to his picture. My 13 year old promptly changed my screen saver to “You should love Dad more.” I am so absurd that my friends – Facebook and real life – and my students’ parents alert me to all of his appearances on t.v. They send me pictures of his tattooed abdomen. It’s become a joke and I guess … Read more…

Am I wrong?

So…I have not told my three little guys about the tragedy. Alex knows. Alex and I have discussed it. Alex is 13 and can handle it. I know that it is the school’s policy not to discuss it in the classroom. If questions come up the child is referred to the school counselors. At least that is my understanding. I held my breath as they all got on the bus yesterday. I shed some tears as I walked in the house after waving a few extra times. I didn’t want them to go to school in this new world. I … Read more…

Right now

Right now I am happy to have braided one little girl’s hair in order to achieve curls for a Fancy Nancy costume for Storybook Character day in school.   And I am not surprised that it ended in tears because for this particular five year old I seem to do nothing right.  I pack the wrong crackers, I buy the wrong size and tonight one of the dozen braids was too knotty. But last night and yester-day, when the threat of wind and rain and that big word hurricane were in her mind, she was my shadow, my partner in … Read more…

my life…or why i forced myself to dance

I’ve felt a little unglued lately.  I feel like Humpty Dumpty after his great fall.  I answer simple how are you’s with a sigh.  I feel pulled in so many different directions sometimes that I can’t even make a coherent to do list.  Having the twins in elementary school technically gives me more free time but realistically adds a dozen additional items to my daily list.  Of course, they are thriving.  We knew they would right?  Gigs is too busy with all her friends to even sit with Eva on the bus.  Ethan is ready to skip elementary school and … Read more…